“The Loudest Cry Never Heard, Yet Heard Loud and Clear” (A Tribute to my Mother-in-Law Patricia Hawkins)

“The Loudest Cry Never Heard, Yet Heard Loud and Clear”

(A Tribute to my Mother-in-Law Patricia Hawkins)

by Bill Lynch

3/16/2017

As I looked from the bottom of the bed that my mother-in-law, Pat, lie upon; I observed close family members gathered. Pat was struggling to breathe and was surely close to the end of her earthly walk. Amy, my sister-in-law had discovered a piece of paper in one of Pat’s Bibles detailing a few hymns and some scripture passages to be read at her funeral. One of those hymns was “The Old Rugged Cross.” Upon hearing this the Hospice Nurse sprung to action and found the Hymn on a phone. Before you know it a phone was laid upon Pat’s shoulder. You could see Pat barely tilt her head to hear the words and music.

The Old Rugged Cross

Brad Paisley

On a hill far away, stood an old rugged Cross
The emblem of suff'ring and shame
And I love that old Cross where the dearest and best
For a world of lost sinners was slain

So I'll cherish the old rugged Cross
Till my trophies at last I lay down
I will cling to the old rugged Cross
And exchange it some day for a crown

Oh, that old rugged Cross so despised by the world
Has a wondrous attraction for me
For the dear Lamb of God, left his Glory above
To bear it to dark Calvary

So I'll cherish the old rugged Cross
Till my trophies at last I lay down
I will cling to the old rugged Cross
And exchange it some day for a crown

At his point in the song I detected Pat slipping away from this world and into the waiting arms of Jesus as her spirit eased. Did she stop breathing? I think so… but who am I to know for sure. It appeared to me that through this song Pat was letting go with all of her might of a shout that none of us could hear. But a shout that surely Pat wanted all of us to hear.

Yes, for the past year Pat had lived a voiceless life. No words from her lips. She mostly me that wide eyed scared stare that I would get in the past, like oh no, my smart ass son-in-law is here! Ever since I became Pat’s son-in-law we would have a great time of teasing. Pat was one in the family that kind of got my teasing and didn’t take it as hurtful. Speedy, Pat’s husband, would always get a kick out of it when I would tease Pat as my ol mother-in-law. But Pat hadn’t said more than a few words this past year. Yet in the midst of this hymn that she chose, I could hear the loudest shout of all to all of the people in this room at this time and to all of her family and to all who would listen.

You see Pat died on the Friday before Good Friday to the tune of “The Old Rugged Cross.” During the second verse I could hear Pat in her spirit proclaim, “Listen to this! It’s through the cross we are saved! Get it you guys!”

And then… and then… Pat slipped away as we all stood a watched and listened and some of us sang along.

So we listened, watched and sang on…

In the old rugged Cross, stain'd with blood so divine
A wondrous beauty I see
For the dear Lamb of God, left his Glory above
To pardon and sanctify me

So I'll cherish the old rugged Cross
Till my trophies at last I lay down
I will cling to the old rugged Cross
And exchange it some day for a crown

In Pat’s spirit I could still hear her proclaim through these words, “See! Jesus will take care of you because he came from above and came to you to live with you and to be your God. Jesus will forgive you and make you holy.” Now listen and listen carefully…

To the old rugged Cross, I will ever be true
Its shame and reproach gladly bear
Then He'll call me some day to my home far away
Where his glory forever I'll share

So I'll cherish the old rugged Cross
Till my trophies at last I lay down
I will cling to the old rugged Cross
And exchange it some day for a crown

And there it was! The loudest shout I have ever heard from this soft, small, easy speaking lady in my life. Pat in her spirit proclaimed through the loudest shout, “I’m called away to my home far away. Follow me through the grace, the love, and the resurrection of the One who came to me and will come to you, right to and through that old rugged cross!”

Yep! I hear you Pat. I hear you loud and clear this day. Pat, thanks be to God for your voice that has returned!

As the week progressed through arrangements, funeral and burial, I couldn’t help but listen to those shouts I thought I heard. Doubt presses in. Did I hear that or not? People around me didn’t seem to hear what I heard. Maybe I didn’t hear it.  Maybe the people nearby on that Friday evening heard something else?

In the middle of the week I stopped by Pat and Speedy’s burial site. Straightened some flowers and thought about the fresh dirt on the grave. You are dust and to dust you shall return. Goes for Pat right now and definitely applies to me always. God formed me out of mud, dirt and clay and I can plan on my return. But there is more. Yes, there is more.

The cross is such a dirty thing. Dirty, sweaty and blood covered. Have you ever looked at rotten wood? Soft and dirty and moldy. All of this thought of dirt and blood and the cross. I hear the hymn once more in my mind; The Old Rugged Cross…

Maundy Thursday comes and reminds me of the command God gives to all of his disciples. We’re here to love one another. Isn’t that what Pat did with her loud cries never heard? She loved all of those present and those not present who could receive her cry. Listen… get it you guys… get the cross… there is salvation in the cross… believe!

And Good Friday comes. It’s been a week now. As I sit in a Good Friday service I glance at my watch. It was last week… at just about this same time that I heard Pat’s cry. I listen to the words telling about Jesus crucifixion. I’m guilty too! Yes, I am guilty of putting Jesus on that cross… The Old Rugged Cross. No doubt that I would have done the same thing or something worse had I been there in that same day.

Today, we have the full story. We know the facts. History recorded what happened. I remember the cries of Pat as she died. God came to save me through that Old Rugged Cross. Believe!

Now Saturday, just over a week ago it was that I saw Pat die from the foot of that nursing home bed. I think of Jesus in the tomb. Dark, silent, death. Stone cold still death. Someday my body will be stone cold. Someday I will be in that tomb, that vault, that urn. Someday is here for Pat. There is more to be said. We are called. We are called here and now to follow Jesus. Yes! I will follow Jesus to the cross and to the tomb. But there is more…

Glorious Easter Sunday. I listen to the sermon and throughout the service I think of Pat. I hear and agree with how I expect death. Yes, on Good Friday, I expect death. But God changed all of that. On Sunday as I was in the midst of death; thinking of Pat’s death just days ago, I hear that cry from the grave. Wait! Even Friday over a week ago as I was at the foot of Pat’s deathbed; I expected death! And on Good Friday I expect the death of Jesus. The death that I caused Jesus, through my sin, to suffer and die. Death and the dark tomb of the wee hours of Sunday morning. God does something that changes everything. Jesus comes to life. As I expected death, God brought life.

I think back. That’s it! Pat gave one more shout. That Friday as I watched Pat die, I expected death. But no! No! In the death I expected I actually saw life! Life because of Jesus death. Life because of Jesus suffering. Life because my sin, that Jesus became on that cross, was put to death knowing that through his death I may be made alive. Through Jesus death, Pat is made alive. Through Jesus death, all are made alive.

Did you hear that loud cry at Pat’s deathbed? Right when we expect to see death, God shows us life. Yes… that’s what I saw that Friday. That’s what I heard from a little lady that didn’t have a loud voice even in her heyday and had no voice at all this past year. I hear you Pat. And yes I believe.

Thanks be to God!