Standing Under the Sun

 I look towards a sunrise or a sunset and begin to realize my place in this universe. It's a place before God. It's a place that needs God. 

I read in the book of Genesis... Eve produced Cain with the help of God. Eve also produced Abel with the help of God and then once again... things took a turn.

Two brothers offering gifts and one is jealous of God's acknowledgement of the other brother's gift to God. Murder... death... separation happen.

Sometimes I think I'm like Cain. I'm produced with the help of God, yet I get jealous of my brother and "kill" him, so to speak. And yes... I suffer the consequences of my sin. My brother's blood cries out to me, and to God from the very ground of this earth... but God forgives me and saves me and marks me for protection against the evil of this place under the sun. 

In my sinfulness, I am saved through the waters of baptism and marked as God's own child... even in the midst of my sin, God loves me.

You see, I can't trust myself. I'm going to sin. I can't make myself right before God. I can't... I sin! So, why do I sometimes think  that I can regard others with contempt? They are in the same situation that I'm in. All of us sin and need to take refuge in God alone. Surely I can't hide in my own good works.

Jesus tells a parable about a couple guys who come to the temple to pray. One of the guys prays about how great he is... he prays I, I, I, I, I... me, me, me... It's like he is praying to himself and how God owes him something. 

The other fella knows his place before God. He knows that he is sinful and in need of God's grace and love. This guy realizes his sin before God and prays for God to have mercy on him.

How do I internalize this parable? I realize that there is only one "Big shot" in heaven, and that's not me. There are Children of God in heaven.

So, I need to realize that I can't exclude myself from the other people around me. My sin is great and I'm no better than anyone else as far as sin goes.

Jesus does not justify my sinful life... he hates it!

There is a danger in spiritual pride.

God "owes" me nothing. In fact, everything I have comes from God. Not because I have been good and done all the things to please God, but because God chooses to.

I open my soul to God, instead of locking on myself. No matter how  good I think I am; I confess my need for God to save me from my sin. I certainly can't trust in myself to be righteous.

I turn to God in trust... unquestioning trust. I look for God's justification and acceptance of heaven's grace. I need Jesus to touch my life, my soul, my being.

And yes, I look for a second childhood before Jesus. For I am fully dependent on God. 

God loves us not for being good. God loves us because God helped  our mother make us. God loves us because we are part of a creation given by God. God loves us as children who need him and his love to survive a life not only under this sun but beyond this sun into another place and  time. God loves us because God chooses to love.

So, here I am Lord, standing under the sun, asking for mercy because I'm sinful. Only you, God, can save this your child. I cry out to you... today... tomorrow... and forever. Here under this sun and beyond this sun in your eternal realm of love, grace and glory.

I fall in the arms of Jesus and seek his touch always.