Forgive

 

Jesus can be blunt. Jesus can seem mean. Jesus can give some really tough and brutal commands.

How am I supposed to forgive that low life neighbor of mine after all they have done to me. They lie, cheat, steal and gossip all the time about me. That neighbor slanders me and ruins my reputation. 

Forgive? No way! I want to eliminate them, kill them, be done with all they have to say. I want to hurt my neighbor in so many and various ways. How else am I to respond? I want to hurt him individually, up close and ruin my neighbor.

Lord, Jesus, you want me to forgive? No way! I'm just going to act like I forgive. I'm going to get all churchy and be all pleasant in some fake forgiveness that looks good to the public and my friends at church. Yep! That'll do it. And I'll look good too!

Then I hear Jesus tell me to forgive and forgive and forgive, over and over and over. If my neighbor asks forgiveness just keep on forgiving. I hear Jesus tell me that's what I'm commanded to do.

Jesus tells me all that churchy forgiveness crap I'm doing is just causing problems for someone seeking to follow him. My fake forgiveness is leading them astray. My churchy sin is a snare, a trap to the new disciple. I set a trap that will snap on myself. So now I need forgiveness myself for my own deceptive behavior. 

How, Lord, am I to do this forgiveness thing sincerely?

I look to you, Lord Jesus... upon the cross... you show no anger as you bleed and die... yet I see you furious when the weak are deceived, when the poor go hungry, when the old are abandoned. You seek the lost, bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the sleek and the strong are destroyed. 

You are humble on the cross when you forgave the world and died for sin... yet you are angry when I don't forgive... truly forgive.

Lord... I need faith in this forgiveness of neighbor thing. I'm just as sinful as my neighbor, I know. Help me forgive. Give me your true humble faith.

But what is faith? Best I can figure... faith is casting that tree or even a mountain out into the sea of an unknown future with the hope that life is given. I mean really... how's that tree going to have life in the middle of the sea. And what use is that tall mountain in the sea. I don't know. But, I'll need the faith that the unknown future will take care of all the questions I may ever have. 

Lord, I need this kind of faith when I forgive my neighbor over and over and over again. I need this faith that my forgiveness is real. I need this faith based in your humility and making me humble. 

Help me to forgive like you forgave me and all the world. I know that I'm responsible for my evil and my failure to forgive my neighbor. I don't seek any reward for forgiving. It's what you expect and I'm only doing what you command. 

Lord, forgive my sin as I forgive those who sin against me.

In the unknown future of your love and grace... I forgive.

You're tough command is tough love as well. Tough, eternal, everlasting, love. I'll forgive and forgive and forgive and forgive forever, because I know what you did for me on that cross. You took care of it and made my future in you bright. I know I'm cast into that sea of everlasting life with you. I don't really care how it turns out, because it's with you and I love you.

Thanks for being blunt and brutal and sometimes mean to me. It's just what I needed.

Thanks be to God.... today... tomorrow... and forever!